New Idea

Hey guys, this is just a pulse entry, so you guys know I'm still alive and writing. I have been fiddling with the idea of writing a story that I may eventually develop into a book, I have not decided yet. Anyways, I wanted to give you guys a heads up on my most recent project on top of the usual poems and raps. If you guys want me to post the chapters let me know if not I'll at least post a clip from what I come up with and see if you guys like the idea or if I should scrap it and move on to something more realistic. Anyways, I hope you are all having wonderful weeks and I'll be updating this in about two weeks with at least 2 new poems that I've been working on. See you all soon :)

Church Rhyme

Ok this is the last one that I have completed. Hopefully I will have more for you guys soon, depends on if I have time and something to write with somewhere near me. I wrote this one in church (I know, shame on me) during one of my pastor's sermons. Don't worry, I was only somewhat tuning out what he said, I caught glimpses of good stuff every once in a while. Anyways here goes...

CHURCH RHYME...

This song is called love
and now I'm here singin this song
singin this long
Note
along with every man I can quote
writin bout love
and they gloat
all tryin to showboat
yet even Shakespeare wrote
lovely ballads
capturing hearts of the lonely, abandoned
poetically calling to all the ladies and roundin
up hearts to the theater around him
yes, its a hot topic
sweat drippin and droppin
no stoppin
when the feelin is here
ain't no way it is stoppin
ain't no way we can lock it away
out of the fray
of lonely hearts lookin for prey
yet Lord I pray
keep all this lustin at bay
let us find our way
back to your heart
back to the part
where we met at the start
let me find among rows
of belligerent prose
a sweet red rose
takes after the Son who arose
and shows
love's only a matter to those
who love in the light
of even the darkest times
when the heart aint alive
only beating in time
with One other.

No title for this one yet

First off, I would like to apologize to those of you who are reading my blog and notice that I have a weird tendency to write really long entries... It's just me I guess. Second this one came right after I finished the other one (literally, it kind of scared me that two ideas ran through my mind that fast at that hour). I was thinking about one of my friends and something that they have been going through and it started as what I would tell them if I could but by the end it seemed to me that it can relate to many more situations, and even be a little of a "God to man" type writing. Of course there is always the possibility that I am delusional. Third, I come up with these intros on the spot and some of them seem to me to have a little more to them than I intend but that is a good thing I suppose.

RANDOM

You always fall in love with creativity
but, creative people tire of their work so easily
Sure, it is their masterpiece, their treasure, their art
yes they have put in a large part of their heart
but we strive for beauty, and if you see a wonder to often
the brilliance, the majesty, the art and beauty all seem to soften
yet that is the wonderful thing about you
you always come up with something fantastic, fresh, new
and even on those days where it all seems to be falling apart
we only remember the wonderful parts, those beautiful works of art
sure, all creatives are different and carry their own style
our shapes, colors, and patterns will clash once in a while
but in the end I hope you find another wonderful design
and maybe we can change the name, call it "your style and mine"
or maybe that is still and old and outdated line
how about we call this something like "what happened that time"
you're right, that was a nonsensical rhyme
I know it is said, and written, and misunderstood
but I want you to know I did the best that I could
through beauty or wonder, even sickness or pain
forever and ever by your side I will remain
your my best friend, and I'll love you to the end.

Transparent Hearts

So this next one I wrote New Years Day, 2:30 in the morning. I was feeling a little confused. I was overjoyed yet i felt a tinge of sorrow, I was content yet I felt shadowed by jealousy, and I was full of energy, yet with every passing minute the pen seemed to get heavier. This one was meant to start out as a song but after the first four lines it turned into a jumble of rhymes, random rhythm patterns, and even some interesting ideas. Anyways I'll just post and hopefully you all can enjoy!

TRANSPARENT HEARTS

I turn once around to see what I'm missing
turn twice around to see that there's nothing missing
yet every turn makes me want to stop and listen
because I'm sure that I am missing, seeing your heart with mine

I grew up thinking about true love
thinking every heart that was alone there must be two of
and if you looked hard enough at all the other ones
you would find where your heart belongs
then maybe you could relate to all those sappy love songs
and as I grew up, reality grew up with me
love had lost it's fairytale innocence and mystery
you can read people like a book
paragraph by paragraph until they have you hooked
yet I learned the heart is a fickle thing
filled with secrets and long sufferings
and yet i still hope to someday find your innocent heart with mine

I leaned to live, I learned to lose
yet every day it's love I chose
because every time I see you I lose
It's like looking through a magnifying glass
It's like seeing clearly only nothing lasts
I look at nothing and yet I see
Beautiful eyes looking back at me
and though my presence may be empty and cold
I still hope your hands I can hold
Because through your transparent heart I see
Only wonder and beauty surrounding me

They say a picture is worth many words
yet the picture of life that I have seen through you
would take all the words I know, true and untrue
So I will offer you this glimpse of my heart
maybe this time you won't see right through
maybe this time you will stop and find
there is always room for you, in this transparent heart of mine

Mission trip-up

Well I finally have some materials to post. I know it has been a little while and I want to thank all of those who are patient with me on this. Lately things have been so busy that I haven't been able to complete anything that I have written. As I was telling a really good friend of mine, "I can't write in a moment's notice, but without notice I find myself in a writing inspired moment." Basically all I mean by that is that if I don't complete a thought as it is coming to me I cannot remember anything about it. Because of this I end up with hundreds of uncompleted thoughts and phrases that start out great, and spiral downward as I attempt to restart the flow later on. Some of these thoughts I have left uncompleted due to complete dissatisfaction with where it was going or because I couldn't come up with the thought that started it off so I was not able to complete them. There are also many ideas that have passes through my head and, since I had no opportunity to write them down, as soon as my focus switched to something else (even if for only a moment) I had lost it. Anyways, here is one that I started as a rap, lost it, tried to continue, and it kind of went... well I'll let you all be the judge.

SOLI, DEO, GLORIA

Woke up the first morning wondering why
there was sweat on my brow and tears in my eye
I was caught in the middle of my own little lie
praying glory hallelujah to the Lord on high

Got up, Got dressed, drew my Bible to my chest
got ready to immerse myself in this mess
that was going on, something now was going wrong
from where I was to where I talked, that would be a long song

Now the mission's started going on
children walking up, not knowing what is going on
We would talk, pray, sing, and then we started moving on
all like it was just another day in our own song

That's right, we're singing out a little song
and all the notes sound dang wrong
we act like its all perfect, ain't nothing to be saved from
yet everything we preach say, "get your life straight son"

Have we found the Son, or are we set for one
place where there is no sun, no joy, no fun
ain't like all these priceless moments tellin' em bout our Son
or our one, only our son, ticket out of a hard one

Life that is, the time that we were blessed with
yet every time I talk to you I'm hiding what I messed with
I'm desperate, seeking your attention, I'm a despot
Not sharing any love that I've been blessed with

So hear me now, all you people speakin' out
are you living what your preaching, out around your town
out of our town, are you hearing people asking what's going down
or is everything your doin' only blank sound.

I'm not writing this to scare you
I'm not tryin' to warp the real you
I'm just speakin' from the heart dude
and frankly, I'm a little lost, Aren't you?

simplicity

It's foolish. You sit back in that chair and act like nothing is happening to you. I mean, hey, why not? I love it when you don't act, you see that boy on the corner there? How about them girls on the street curb? You know what they gonna do, don't deny it. Face it you doubt yourself. Oh sure, you hear a good encouraging message now and then; you act on a resolve a few days out of a week, but where are you now? I'll tell you where, under my thumb. Every time you turn the other cheek your only doing what I want you to do. Don't try to deny it, you're just lying to yourself and pushing your way deeper into the trap. I mean how simple can you be. I know EXACTLY what you want to do and when your feeling in the mood to let up. Pshh, you think you have the strength or knowledge to outwit me. I OWN you, I feed on your WEAKNESSES and HIT you when your down. I sever every fiber of your resistance until you cant stand. Trust me when I say your the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. You grovel in your own self pity and manage to disguise your pains from others. You know the right words to say every time and you wonder if you have finally found your way back to this God of yours. Well he was right you know. You do like to fight me often, but your still a puny lamb to my prowling lion. You leave the doors to your heart open so often that messing up your home is simple work. I like you though. Every time that Jesus comes by your doors are bolted. Sure you feel the encouragement from his knock but I sincerely appreciate how your just TOO busy at that particular moment and cant answer the call. I mean, i do all the work around here, why don't you just give up and let me do my job without having to fight you off every now and then. You know the pleasures I offer you i can give at any time. You know how this has all worked so well in the past. Why do you continue to resist? How far do I have to go to kill you? Why do you continue to look up as if there is any hope left? Do you not see that those chains are unbreakable? Look at you, your a groveling mess. Your rags are barely enough to cover your decency and your all mud stained and broken boned. Your starving so much that I marvel at the fact that your still alive. Just tell me one thing, Why keep going even when all you've seen so far is blood, pain, and torture? How are you still not yet dead?

(A voice full of energy and vibrating with an unknown power resounds through the dark, empty halls of the body)
simple, what you see before you is what remains, those chains hold down the corpse of who we use to be. Now its just you speaking to some tattered remains whilst I prepare for my King.

**for some reason i still feel like im in that first stage. i just hope that soon ill be able to proclaim the second part wholeheartedly. I know that is probably not where i should be but God has a plan through everything, im just deaf from the bombardments of sin and cant hear the orders i guess. Well God bless all of you!

Memories of how it use to be!

So back in Language Arts, we had a whole section on transcendentalism and nature. We had to write a nature letter to a random person describing what we saw after a 5 minute "field trip" to the forest behind the school. I was not there because of Governor's Honors Program first round interviews, so i had to come up with the letter on the metaphorical "spot". Looking back this is one of the better papers i wrote for that class, and with all the assignments we had, that is saying a lot.
so without further ado:

Dear reader,

Nature is a beautiful thing. Nothing can truly separate us from that fact. Tales have been told of its beauty, songs sung of its majesty, and psalms written of its tenderness. When we are one with nature we are but one with ourselves. We define what little is left of the marvelous little that occupies the grandeur of the heart. But how can something with so many dangers be so beautiful? The way I see it, nature all in the balance, we hold the key to the sparrows song and the mountains mists and the splendor of the fall.

I was out in the forest one day. What a marvelous sight to behold! The trees surrendered to the might of the wind; their leaves flowed freely as if golden extensions of the rising sun’s rays. The chill of the morning air settled onto my bare skin numbing the extensions of my essence to a point of almost no return. The sight was miraculous. I could see the ripples of the water as geese glided gracefully down with majestic quacks to alert of their presence. The withered gold that fell from dyeing or dead branches to the firm ground beneath. I could hear the gentle shift of gravel as a squirrel scurried across trying to find a perfect place to bury its nutty treasures. Life was beginning to awaken.

Can you imagine the fanfare at a royal celebration, or a holiday festival? The trumpets blazing their song, the music constantly changing rhythms and beats, the gaiety of the many famous persons carried across the dark black asphalt. I too saw these sights, yet in a very different form. The wind began its frolic through the branches and hollows of nearby trees. The echo would reverberate through my very bones, causing them to rattle with gleeful chills. I heard the territorial chirps of jays and larks as they called out their greeting to the morning sun. I heard the soft rustle of leaves as energetic squirrels chased each other with such energy and passion as would rival the most rambunctious youth. I saw the gleaming notes of the sun echo off the surface of the lake, bringing about the calm of a chime in the minds cavernous imagination. I heard the joining of the rhythmic pattern of small waves hitting the rocky shore of the lake. This was beauty. This was celebration.

Can this calm be contested by the dangers out there? I believe not. Too much music can cause ruckus, can it not. The bird does eat the frolicking squirrel and the many predators of the wild do each commit their own atrocities. Yet it is these pauses, these rests, these interruptions to all the noise, which brings about certain calm that is yet to be surpassed. Time always ends; life is but the cannon echoing the verses of nature. I therefore beseech you to take not what little time you have left in certain ungratefulness. No matter how far you are from nature, or how stressed you are by your surroundings, take time to enjoy the settings that nature has provided. Can you still hear its melodious sonnet?

Sincerely,

Corneliu Radu Rodila